The power of your words

“Death and Life are in the power of the tongue. They that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” – Proverbs 18:21

This ancient proverbs reveals a great truth about our words. Words have tremendous power, and in this particular proverb, death is mentioned first. I suspect this was intended as a warning, since for most of us its so easy to slip into negativity, both in our conversations and our self-talk.  There’s good reason that ‘Bad news travels fast’ is an old saying. For some reason, we all have a bit of the naughty little kid in us who just can’t wait to share the latest bit of bad news, especially when it’s particularly ‘juicy.’

To make matters worse, we tend to do this to ourselves. I teach my clients to break this habit, because even when we don’t mean what we say, our subconscious mind receives the negative signal and, unfortunately begins to work against us. Now, experts from scientists to internet marketers have tried to understand how it works. It remains mysterious, but there are some things we do understand about the subconscious mind that can help us, especially with regard to our words and thoughts.

We know that he subconscious mind is not rational or logical. It doesn’t necessarily think in linear terms. It seems to behave more like a parallel processor, and therefore can process much more information than the conscious mind. It’s believed that that the subconscious mind can process as much as 40 billion bits of information per second, versus the 70-20 bits that the conscious mind can process. So it seems possible that the subconscious mind can process and assimilate most, or maybe even all, of what we see, hear, smell, taste, and so on… including what we say.

When we are negative in our words, we can actually influence our subconscious mind to work against us, while our conscious mind begins to believe what we’re saying. There was once a skinny little teenager who wanted to become really strong despite his small size, many people told him in many ways that he’d never be able to bench press whatever number of pounds seemed like a good number to them. He, however, was undaunted. and continued to tell himself that he would reach his goal on the bench press. Soon enough, He began to believe that he could do it, and that belief caused him to research how muscles worked, and what actually made people get stronger. In the end, he bench pressed 270 pounds at a body weight of 117, and years later could bench press more than 300 pounds at a body weight of just 143 pounds!

Had he been negative, sooner or later he would have convinced himself that it was impossible, and his level of effort and dedication would have dropped to match those words. This happens to most of us. Some might even say this is how we talk ourselves out of pursuing our dreams. Do whatever you have to do to stop this habit. Now, I’m not saying you should be positive about things that don’t make any sense. You won’t see me trying out for the Toronto Raptors anytime soon.

Words can hurt feelings, offend sensibilities, start bar fights, end marriages and make enemies. At the same time, they can restore relationships, inspire people to strive for excellence, resolve conflict and make friends. Choose your words wisely, and use them kindly as often as you can.

What I am  saying that you should speak good things over your own life. Encourage yourself if you have to! What I typically have my clients do is a simple exercise in which they write down goals, or things they’d like to change, and then write down two or three encouraging statements about those things. They then read these aloud to themselves as often as they need to until they begin to believe it, and while they’re doing this, they’re already taking action toward achieving those goals.

Try this out for a week and see what happens. You’ll be glad you did.

The Power of a Genuine Smile



Business magnate Charles Schwabb, who decades ago amassed a fortune worth more than $400M, attributed his success mainly to his smile. While I’m sure there was more to him than his smile, the fact that someone of that magnitude would consider a smile that important speaks volumes of what your smile means to the release of your vision…

A smile communicates warmth, trust, good will, and so much more that it can often create opportunities to connect with people who will become a vital part of your journey. Don’t just smile with your mouth… though some people say smile with your eyes, I say smile with your whole body. Most communication is no-verbal, and since people really can’t see your heart, your smile gives you a chance to express your good will, openness, and friendliness. Your most powerful position in business is that of safe strength. People want to know you can get the job done, so to speak, but they also want to know that you are ‘safe.’ While a smile doesn’t tell your whole story, it can position you to be able to tell it yourself!

Let your smile be your chance to communicate the very best of you to the world around you, and watch your journey’s direction change for the better.

5 Ways to Communicate well and Earn Trust

Trust isn’t just earned, it’s invested. However, to get someone to invest a little trust in you so that you can earn the rest, you must be able to communicate well. Some things that will help this process:

1. Have something good to say. This doesn’t just apply to industry knowledge. Be prepared to add value to the lives of others with your words. Have you ever known someone whose words always seem to bring life, peace, joy, and wisdom into a situation? Have you noticed that such people are usually trusted? There’s a reason for that. The value of their words inspires trust.

2. Say it Well. Study the great communicators of different  eras. You don’t have to imitate them, but you will learn from them. All great leaders are great communicators. You can’t lead unless you can effectively present ideas and inspire others to partake of those ideas.

3. Learn to trust the truth. I’m a firm believer in the seemingly lost art of integrity. Truth is tremendously powerful, and much lower maintenance than deception.

4. Learn to read your audience. Great communicators learn to understand what their audience needs. Too often we’re so focused on what we have to say that we fail to realize that what we intend to say isn’t what the people around us need.

5. Seek to serve rather than to impress. Let your marketing be impressive. When it’s time to interact with clients, customers, friends and relations, impressing them does not good except maybe for your ego. The word ‘deserve’ is made up of the Latin prefix de, which signifies ‘of’ or ‘from.’ Thus, if you want to deserve trust, you must serve and serve well.

What is YOUR dominant focus?

One of the greatest problem visionaries and would-be visionaries have is focus. It’s not just that they can’t or won’t focus on the one thing, or the right things. They also don’t understand their own inner focus and how to make use of it to unleash their truest, boldest, and best vision on the world.

The truth is there are really only two kinds of focus, at least when it comes to our own personal way of dealing with the world around us: promotion focus and prevention focus. Now, we might have some aspects of both, but most of us have a dominant focus that tends to direct us. Heidi Grant Halvorson writes of this in her book Focus: Using Different Ways of Seeing the World for Success and Influence, and I’d have to agree with her. I took her Focus Assessment some time ago, and, not surprisingly, found that I’m promotion focused. This might explain why people don’t get far with me by threatening me ;)

Now, whether you’re promotion focused or prevention focused, once you understand which type dominates your thinking, you can tailor your decisions to maximize your motivation, sharpen your focus on your vision, and gain a whole new level of clarity for your purpose. I encourage you to visit the link below and try Heidi’s Focus assessment.

The James Bond Walk

What makes James Bond different isn’t the cars, the clothes, the looks, the gadgets or the girls. It’s his walk. Every actor who has ever played Bond has been assigned trainers to teach him how to walk like James Bond. No one’s nailed it quite like Daniel Craig. Roger Moore even said, “Daniel Craig IS James Bond.”

Now, we can’t all look like Daniel Craig, but we can walk like him. Bond always walks with his chest out, shoulders back, and chin parallel to the floor. Observe a few billionaires, and you’ll see they walk the same way. Try this walk out some time, and you’ll be amazed at how people react to you.

Remember, your vision deserves to be communicated well, and a big part of this is confidence. So, when you walk, walk like 007 and not like WTH ;)

I hurt my back and knee recently, so I don’t quite pull it off right now, but hey… ;)